Behind a keyboard, Im empowered, overpowered even
Having the strength to tell you things I could never say to you directly from the recesses of my mind
Rather, things that I shouldnt say but can hiding behind the excuse of artistic expression
Which you, my muse, contribute completely to
Maybe I am trying to convince you my way but I’d like to think not
No hypnotist, wouldn’t want to control your will with words as pendulums
Like a pendulum your heart swings this way, that way, my way
But your way refuses to let any come any closer
Love is a gamble, and you’ve never played with house money
So why bother gambling, save yourself for yourself, by yourself
Love isn’t some oasis to you, it’s a bitter wasteland
A wasteland that I walked through, too
Though I see, from the cracks on the ground hints of life
Seeds waiting to sprout, needing only time and care
We tread this hell at the same time. I take a look to my left. I see you.
Look over at me. The right direction. Why not walk together?
Now, this isn’t some proposition to change your opposition
I too am confused as to why I let my guard down
Like a boxer I guarded my face yet left my chest wide open
Blow by blow it hit me. Yet my masochistic side reveled in it
But Im not taking these hits for no reason, these eyes say otherwise
Looking straight at yours, eyes which I am no match for.
I can stand on my own two feet. I can protect myself
Yet you think having someone to call your own is a burden
And maybe it is. Being free is better. I agree
No commitment. No expectations. No worries. No love
Hm, maybe not the latter, because you can’t control your feelings
Only hide it
Now tell me, when I fly through your mind, how does it feel?
Does your chest get tight? Does everything turn silent? Can you hear your heartbeat?
Or am I simply imposing what happens to me?
Possibly.
In this passive aggressive war we’re playing, I’m a 5 star general
My words my weapons. My feelings, fuel. Your love my drive.
Yet your love is something I cant pinpoint
Or hope to figure out. Everything so far is pure speculation
What war is this? Who wins if I win?
But what can I offer you that others in the past havent already offered or given?
What makes me so special? Nothing I guess
Not height. Not looks. Not humor. Not vocabulary.
Maybe Im just wasting your time?
All I can offer, is that I wont waste it.
Nor are you wasting mine, it’s my choice to make. And my choice is you.
Yeah, I said it. I want you. Not going to beat around the bush
Or act coy. I’ll go ahead and say it again. I want you.
To love and to hold, till death do us part and wish
Our string is connected to us again in the next lifetime.
Maybe in the next lifetime, neither of us is jaded
So that you can just jump into my arms or I to yours without hesitation
To lay with you, and escape ourselves into each other
But for now, in this lifetime, there’s only one thing I can do.
Hope.