Flayed Syntax

Not a number, unless it’s one and only one.
Though it wasn’t or ever will be my call, or be called.
Just so happens to be the result of futile expeditions.
Get in tow, others will take their turn.
A line of kings await to offer their kingdom.
What could a lowly knight have offered?
To rule a kingdom. Population: one.
Dream. Nightmare. Let me sleep. Let me wake up.
Stop telling me otherwise. Please.
I know what’s real.
Not really. I don’t. Maybe I never have.
In too deep this time.
I know this feeling too well. Frightening.
Bricks. Let’s build it. Just to be safe.
Because maybe I need one, too.
Or just hug myself. To both restrain and to assure me
That I’m worth it.
Yet another feeling is building up.
Have to let this go. I can’t fathom letting this grow.
Because of who it’s directed towards.
I don’t want it to. I don’t want you to… too.
Two directions. My eyes can’t keep up.
How well can I hide how I truly feel?
Who am I hiding what Im feeling from?
What do I feel when I have to hide?
When did I have to start hiding?
Where can I hide so I don’t have to feel?
Why bother?
Your smiles. It elates me.
Never stop.
I’ve always preferred silver to gold.