Flayed Syntax

Let the raindrops wash away the footprints
From the dunes of the past.
Yet it’s difficult to find reasons to
Unsheathe verbal daggers to something already dead.
But I’ve been the one who was skinned alive.
Or maybe I was and still am a carcass.
Why didn’t you protect me?
And what makes you think I want you to again?
Nor would I ever want to protect you.
It wasn’t necessary. And neither was us.
Or you now that I think about it.
So let me euthanize you. Morals off.
And yet the arrow of my compass spins. Dizzying.
Close my eyes. Empty.
Where is it that draws me, that pulls me?
I can’t sense it. Not anymore.
I can’t reach out to you. Too far and too close.
To home that is.
Glad I held back. It wasn’t the time nor was it the place.
It would have been devalued.
Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Lost in the shuffle. Just another card in the deck.
Of course, there’s always four of a kind.
But I lay claim to both jokers.
Flush it out.
My mind is a cesspool full of hopes and dreams
If only it can be drained
The rhythmic sounds leaves me uneasy
It’s a ticking time bomb ready to blow at moment’s, unnoticed.
What is peacetime to a warrior born and bred in strife
But a silently relaxing torture chamber?
Let this blade of mine drink. Whatever and whomever.
Even if it’s me.