…things seem to just be looking better and better. For the past two weeks, both work and personal fronts have gone back on track. From mid-August to early September, I struggled a bit at work. Not only was upper management ridiculous (and quite stupid), my mind wasn’t in the right place. My code suffered, deadlines were almost not met, and my state of mind was a wreck. Didn’t have the energy to do much really. Pretty much just waited, silently or simply slept. More and more did the situation felt extremely familiar, not the same variables but it indeed felt toxic. It was, in just a different form, a different formula.

But within one week, I decided to walk away from not just one, but two toxic situations. The funny thing was, one toxic situation beget the strength to leave the other. To simply turn your back on it, I finally have that strength, ironically. Whether not there was anything else I could have done is beyond me, but it’s over. Whether not what I felt is true or not, time will tell me, I’m sure. Vindication isn’t important to me, I simply just want to move on.

Day by day, Im gaining momentum again. Started to eat right again. Began exercising. Never have I laughed and felt so free to talk to my friends in such a long time in the MMO I play. My code is being delivered faster, more efficient. This won’t stop, this will get stronger and stronger. Because I’ll make it so.

Funny thing is, I really didn’t lose my muse. What I learned still resides in me. It’s a part of me now, and it’s not going anywhere. Even if she is gone.

I was there, wasn’t afk. It’s ok. You’ve helped me enough.
Thanks.