MMORPGs have been an extremely huge part of my adult life. Ever since I was 18, I was playing some sort of MMO. Due to how socially shy I was, the fact that I was forced to not stay on my college campus but to commute, it was the easiest way for me to meet and talk to people. Unsurprisingly, a majority of my recent relationships has been because I met people in these games. Some I’ve actually dated for years, met offline, and traveled with.

It was a way to facilitate a long distance relationship. Especially games where the community was small enough so that you are ingrained in the life blood of the game. I’ve met so many people, some whom I still talk to till this very day through such games. Events that occur regularly, new dungeons, new gear, new features of the game to help you progress, giving you that satisfaction of experiencing life that, just maybe, is far more interesting than your real one. And yet, sometimes, the annoyance and drama that comes from it seeps into your real life. It’s only just a game after all.

Enter Twin Saga.

Coming into this game 2 years ago, broken after finally being able to walk away from a toxic situation, all I wanted to do was simply to recover and be left alone. I used to play this game but have quit roughly a year prior to coming back. After all, my character was considered “end game” before I quit the last time. It would be too painful and annoying to start completely fresh so I decided to come to this game.

Without going into too much detail, this was a free to play game that is heavily Anime inspired as far as graphics go. It is an MMO that is a fusion of the developer’s last two MMOs. In its core, it is quite possibly one of the simplest MMOs in existence. Compared to other free to play MMOs, there are microtransactions and paywalls that, while expensive, go a long way and even then, through putting time into your character, you can progress even without paying. All in all, this game was all about time and/or money, never truly about skill.

And that’s fine. I just wanted a game to chill in. Get to know people, help others. After all, in all the MMOs I’ve been in, I have always been a player that enjoyed steady and efficient character progression. I loved theory crafting. I love thinking about different character setups you can use. I never enjoyed just following a guide, I rather be the one who guides. Like hey, use this type of weapon or pull the boss to the corner. Learn when to use a certain skill. Keep cooldowns on specific rotations.

All I wanted was to play a simple game. A game where the system was so basic, that a high school / college version of me would have been stronger because the paywall wasn’t that high and the game rewards you for grinding for incremental stat gains, time which I do not have considering I am an adult with a career intact. Log on. Run some dungeons. Help carry people. Possibly throw guild events.

But all good intentions going into this game, I was slapped with such entangled drama of my life.

Blame it on the relatively small community. Blame it on the rise and popularity of Discord, that people are so into each others’ business that certain people “hate” me, when I didn’t even know they existed. The game was dubbed “Drama Saga” by many of the players, and that is the most fitting name one could create for such a game. All I literally did was sit in the town and literally gambled. I didn’t flex to anyone. I even gave free stuff of things I already own many of.

It’s actually a very stupid trope found in many free to play games, not just in MMO. Many people find very ridiculous reasons to hate on people that pay to play games, mainly of envy and jealousy. For 4-5 weeks, I did absolutely nothing but AFK in town and gambled/speak to my guild mates. Yet, people have already started throwing rumors about me and already talking about how I spend all my paychecks on the game. That I have “no skill” in this game and know “nothing” about the game. This is despite just coming back to the game, my gear/stats in plain view, I was still outdamaging 80% of the remaining population. All the while using a class that is considered one of the weakest in the game. Not only that, I apparently was one of the reasons why another couple have broken up because she cheated on him with me (I learned this months after), despite not even talking to said person until one month after they had broken up.

I started liking people that I have met on the game and those feelings are just natural. People get to know one another, they bond. They laugh. They cry together. They open up secret they haven’t told anyone else. They fight. They make up. They leave each others lives. They come back. It’s all natural, and it happens all the time. And it’s natural the drama happens, too.

It was like high school all over again. Everyone has their gimick, like some kind of wrestling show. We have an absolute manchild that was in the Army. He threw a fit because I gave his gf at the time a gift as thanks for helping me out. He was cocky and yet full of self esteem issues. Then we have some girl whose nudes were exposed, who I took in as a friend but realized she brought in more drama than she’s worth (and was the one who spread this blog to people that shouldn’t have had knowledge of it). Then we have some gay dude that held extremely negative opinions of me, who has never talked to me before and did nothing but get in my personal business and spread unfounded rumors. He was also quite trash in the game and is most likely just jealous. He had always complained I did nothing but pay to get where I am (quite literally, it takes a person 1 week to be considered end game if you can shell out a few hundred dollars) and yet, he has paid too but is still leagues below where I was. We then have someone who is the literal definition of a simp. We have people acting like they’re a trap, having some sort of house fantasy/fetish. We have literal fuck boys who think they have the moral high grounds when they too, are just as human as anyone else.

It wasn’t worth it. And I called it quits.

It was tiring. People kept getting into my business, into my personal life. Some bitch ass motherfucker wanted to always complain that I do nothing but pay, that my bank account was literally connected to the game’s coffers. I couldn’t even spend money into it if I wanted to (I was THAT complete and coasting). Not only that, the intelligence of the community was just lacking. No one ever wanted to be on my side, or tried to talk to me or hear my side, or simply get to know me. They simply only wanted to hear what they wanted to hear. The drama was annoying on 2 fronts.

First, never should you as a person, feel bad about your own personal success. Never stoop to someone’s level, never be ashamed of what you had to do in order to make yourself happy. If you want to ball out, ball out. Spend on yourself. You’ve earned it. People are simply just disgusted by their own personal failures that in order to pull themselves up, they need to drag others down. I was called old despite just being a few years older than the average playerbase (but like decades ahead in terms of career/life achievements).

Second, people are immoral and/or are just plain stupid. This is a guy who was cheated on multiple times but at the same time play flirts with other girls and gets mad when their girl talks to other guys. And, despite knowing certain things, turns a blind eye when his friend is clearly hitting on someone else’s love interest. Or maybe just a complete moron, which Im leaning heavily towards.

After a while, I got fed up. I was done being nice. There was no dispute or discussion that I was the best player with the best stats in the game. I didn’t give two shits what people say about me. Oh, I spent money on the game? Well, if your broke ass could you would.

But your bitch ass couldn’t now, could you?

I gave up on having hope of meaningful friendships with people there because quite honestly, they don’t deserve my friendship. They’re too stupid, too spiteful, and simply not worth my time. I had to keep reminding myself that this was just a game. It’s just a game. It shouldn’t have affected me outside. Shouldn’t have affected me at work. They don’t pay my bills. These people do not enrich my life in any sort of way. They simply drag me to their pointless existence.

So I’ve had it. Once I got to a personal goal in the game, I’ve officially quit. While the entire server complained about a specific dungeon, I completed it by myself. Everyone was playing catch up to me and I was barely trying. And I wasn’t even cocky about it or anything. Not once, did I declare myself the best in the game and have always tried my hardest to give others advice. Not everyone can afford to spend money. I have been humble to anyone that knows me. I’m not good in FPS. Im not a LoL type of guy. Just so happens I found a game that suited my lifestyle. But I decided to quit on the highest note I can get.

The top.

It’s been two months and it has been the best thing I could have done in the past 2 years. I have found and maintained some friendships that I feel is healthy and organic. I refuse to let this stupid game tarnish my day to day in any way possible. I logged on to simply give some stuff to a few deserving people, but have absolutely no plans of ever coming back. I am done with this game and the people in it.

I’m writing this because this chapter is closed. It has been a long 2 years. Anything and everything about it is in the past and I have since moved on. Just wanted to get a few things off my chest before doing so. I have grown a bit cynical because of it. Basic human decency is lost to people it seems. And honestly, some people are just hopeless. There’s simply no way they can change. It has opened my eyes that I am too trusting sometimes.

And if you’re on my blog to spy on me, because you have absolutely no life and want to find a reason to hate me more, go right on ahead. If you absolutely can’t move on and get over everything, good luck to you. In the end, your existence is meaningless to me. Why don’t you make your existence meaningful to yourself. Kind of hard, I know.

But even crap can be used as a fertilizer.